If not owe you your happiness, peace or
joy.
Happiness is a state of mind we choose to have. All of your
happiness, and all of your suffering, are created by you and
they do not come from outsIf you are in a relationship right now, or are thinking of
going into one, there are 3 very important tips you should
know and questions you should ask yourself before you ever
get yourself into a relationship. This could save you from a
lot of heartache and pain when you are involved in a love
relationship.
(1) Your lover does not owe you your happiness, peace or
joy.
Happiness is a state of mind we choose to have. All of your
happiness, and all of your suffering, are created by you and
they do not come from outside of you, or from others. Before
you go into any type of relationship, ask yourself these
questions: "Do I really, really, really know how to walk
away from disappointment and fear? Will I be able to find
the person that I am now even after I go into this
relationship and begin a new way of life?" In short, you
should not be dependent on your partner on your emotional
needs. You yourself are responsible for your own feelings
and creating positive experiences for both your partner and
you whenever you are together.
(2) Love your partner for who they are.
No one in this world is perfect. One day you will find your
partner doing certain things or saying certain things that
will hurt you, disappoint you or anger you. Before you go
into any type of relationship, you have to ask yourself:
"Will I be able to love my partner for who they are. If I am
unhappy or angry with something they have said or done, will
I be able to recognize my unhappiness or anger as against
their speech, actions and behavior, and not against their
persons?"
(3) Will I be able to love myself as much as I love my
partner?
If you cannot love yourself, how are you going to give love
to another? This is a mistake most people make when they go
into a relationship. They become over-obsessive with what
they can give to their partners and what they can do for
their partners. To ensure a fulfilling relationship, you
have to learn to take care of your own needs as well. A true
partner or lover is one who will make sure that you do not
become too dependent on them. You are responsible for your
own feelings and your own emotional needs too. You are a
beautiful being. So, take care of yourself, love yourself,
treat yourself to all the good things in life too, and do
the same to your partner. Very soon you will find true love
always coming your way without any effort on your part!
As always, if you are encountering problems in your
relationship, try to dissolve all of your problems in love.
And you'll be sure you are on your way to a peaceful and
fulfilling relationship!
.......................................
Get FREE Special Report "Tired
of Failing And Heart Breaking Relationships? The Mystery of
Possessing The Relationship Of Your Dreams...SOLVED!" (Value
$17.95) MP3 Training Program by Dr Robby Bilton (Value $37)
at http://www.FamilyAndRelationships.com
About The Author:
Cucan Pemo is the Best Selling Author for her unconventional
Relationship Ebooks at
href="http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm">http://www
.RetrieveALover.com Discover the best and most effective
strategies to finding a true love, keeping a true love or
even bringing back a lost lover or spouse! She now writes regularly
on finding and attracting true love, and family related issues.
Free tips and resources availaide of you, or from others. Before
you go into any type of relationship, ask yourself these
questions: "Do I really, really, really know how to walk
away from disappointment and fear? Will I be able to find
the person that I am now even after I go into this
relationship and begin a new way of life?" In short, you
should not be dependent on your partner on your emotional
needs. You yourself are responsible for your own feelings
and creating positive experiences for both your partner and
you whenever you are together.
(2) Love your partner for who they are.
No one in this world is perfect. One day you will find your
partner doing certain things or saying certain things that
will hurt you, disappoint you or anger you. Before you go
into any type of relationship, you have to ask yourself:
"Will I be able to love my partner for who they are. If I am
unhappy or angry with something they have said or done, will
I be able to recognize my unhappiness or anger as against
their speech, actions and behavior, and not against their
persons?"
(3) Will I be able to love myself as much as I love my
partner?
If you cannot love yourself, how are you going to give love
to another? This is a mistake most people make when they go
into a relationship. They become over-obsessive with what
they can give to their partners and what they can do for
their partners. To ensure a fulfilling relationship, you
have to learn to take care of your own needs as well. A true
partner or lover is one who will make sure that you do not
become too dependent on them. You are responsible for your
own feelings and your own emotional needs too. You are a
beautiful being. So, take care of yourself, love yourself,
treat yourself to all the good things in life too, and do
the same to your partner. Very soon you will find true love
always coming your way without any effort on your part!
As always, if you are encountering problems in your
relationship, try to dissolve all of your problems in love.
And you'll be sure you are on your way to a peaceful and
fulfilling relationship!
.......................................
Get FREE Special Report "Tired
of Failing And Heart Breaking Relationships? The Mystery of
Possessing The Relationship Of Your Dreams...SOLVED!" (Value
$17.95) MP3 Training Program by Dr Robby Bilton (Value $37)
at http://www.FamilyAndRelationships.com
About The Author:
Cucan Pemo is the Best Selling Author for her unconventional
Relationship Ebooks at
href="http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm">http://www
.RetrieveALover.com Discover the best and most effective
strategies to finding a true love, keeping a true love or
even bringing back a lost lover or spouse! She now writes regularly
on finding and attracting true love, and family related issues.
Free tips and resources availa
Saturday, April 10, 2010
3 Tips You Wish You Know Earlier Before You Go Into Any Type of Relationship!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Cheating Spouse: Is Spying an Invasion of Privacy?
My, how the cheating spouse cries foul when he/she discovers you are spying.
Outrage can be intense: “How dare you!! I never thought you would stoop to that! How could you!? How can there be trust in this relationship if you do that? This is none of your business; I don’t spy and go behind your back! Now you know why I want to pull away from you. How could I love anyone that would do something like that to me?" On and on.
Cheating husbands and cheating wives usually will not admit the duplicity of their clandestine behavior. But you are made out to be the villain if you use detective work to discover the truth. It doesn’t make sense, but then again not much about infidelity borders close to sanity.
Are you a morally corrupt duplicitous character hell bent on destroying the integrity of a relationship through spying? No, of course not. The integrity of the relationship has been destroyed through the extramarital affair. The affair shattered the promises and mocked the vows that the two of you made.
You saw clearly the signs of a cheating spouse. The affair invaded the domain of your marriage and crumbled its protective boundaries. The marital infidelity broke the contract of the marriage; it was the act of betrayal. Spying does not damage the marriage. It is an attempt to seek the truth and resolve the pain and deception.
Spying is often used to grasp the reality of the situation. It’s intent is to find the truth. Only the truth can provide a foundation from which to begin resolving the hurt, pain and forging a direction for the marriage and enable each person in the marriage to attain health and sanity.
BROKEN TRUST!
BROKEN TRUST......ever been there?
BROKEN TRUST......ever spent sleepless nights because of it?
BROKEN TRUST......ever felt your stomach eat itself through the lining?
BROKEN TRUST......ever been so confused with what is real and what is not ?
BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like your entire world has just turned upside down?
BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like dieing?
If you have been there so to speak, then you know what it means to suffer from a trust betrayal, or BROKEN TRUST. For lack of a better word. It just plain SUX!
I want to say that we need to experience a broken trust in order to really be able to feel an unbroken trust, but this is not so. There are some experiences in life that no one deserves and dealing with a BROKEN TRUST is certainly one of the top ten.
Some people go through their lives never experiencing the feelings of betrayal or deception or a BROKEN TRUST. For them life is always good and on an even keel. They cannot even imagine what others, that have had even one of those experiences, is feeling or trying to explain.
Have you ever just been totally blinded by your affection with another that you over look every warning sign.? Have you caught a glimpse of a warning sign, and when confronting your partner about it, you believe them after some discussion, but still have a lingering feeling of doubt? Have you ever came upon warning signs that are as real as your hand and when you tried to question them about it, you were made to feel like you were doing something wrong even thinking that they had anything to do with it, yet in your guts you could not feel that you were wrong?
Have you ever brought solid issues up to your partner, because you just need to know, and all they do is get angry and accuse you of not trusting them?
In all these scenarios, the partner being confronted is either guilty, or not.
They could be guilty but with an honest excuse. They could be very good at playing the reverse the attack game, making you feel like you are the wrong doer in the end. Or they just plain pretend that they have no clue what you are talking about and ignore it altogether, again making you out to be the problem if you persist to question.
When you love someone, it does not mean that you should turn a blind eye and agree with their every thought or decision. You, as your own person have choices. If you feel threatened or betrayed, you have the right to clear up those feelings.
Just because you question your partner about an issue does so not mean that you lack TRUST or LOVE. Matters of the heart are very tricky to deal with. One can become very defensive and take any question as a personal attack. That is why emotional wars in any relationship are so draining and confusing.
No one wants to mistrust their partner, but what is one to do when certain signs keep coming up time and time again? Love is only so blind. Some people go through life succeeding in their game of denial or turning the tables to suit themselves. Those types are the hardest people to deal with in a relationship. Eventually you are always the one that ends up feeling hurt and accused of not trusting.. Not only hurt by what you feel is wrong but also, you feel defeated in what you feel and believe is right. Because of your love for your partner and the desire to keep things happy, you stay quiet and try to "Let it go". Then you find yourself mistrusting even more because you are forced to decide about things in your own mind, for fear of being wrong again. This is where a communication break down occurs between two people in a relationship. Once that happens, both parties are on separate roads going separate places and sometime never ever meeting on the same road again.
If you are any of these personalities listed above and you care about your partner, then you must not let communication fall to the way side. Also you must not take it as a personal attack, but more of a person crying for help. It is them that is suffering from a BROKEN TRUST and they are in need of your patience and understanding. They are not enjoying their torture at all. In some ways they are trying to share the pain with you. I know that sounds a bit confusing , but to be human is to be a confusion.
Life can be so good when we have no BROKEN TRUST issues to deal with. Also we need to respect one another and not add to the confusion of a "Normal" relationship by deceiving or belittling our partner. Relationships are at thier best when both partners are at peace and respect one another!
Some hurts cannot be repaired, but at least they not need be endured alone!
BROKEN TRUST......ever spent sleepless nights because of it?
BROKEN TRUST......ever felt your stomach eat itself through the lining?
BROKEN TRUST......ever been so confused with what is real and what is not ?
BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like your entire world has just turned upside down?
BROKEN TRUST......ever feel like dieing?
If you have been there so to speak, then you know what it means to suffer from a trust betrayal, or BROKEN TRUST. For lack of a better word. It just plain SUX!
I want to say that we need to experience a broken trust in order to really be able to feel an unbroken trust, but this is not so. There are some experiences in life that no one deserves and dealing with a BROKEN TRUST is certainly one of the top ten.
Some people go through their lives never experiencing the feelings of betrayal or deception or a BROKEN TRUST. For them life is always good and on an even keel. They cannot even imagine what others, that have had even one of those experiences, is feeling or trying to explain.
Have you ever just been totally blinded by your affection with another that you over look every warning sign.? Have you caught a glimpse of a warning sign, and when confronting your partner about it, you believe them after some discussion, but still have a lingering feeling of doubt? Have you ever came upon warning signs that are as real as your hand and when you tried to question them about it, you were made to feel like you were doing something wrong even thinking that they had anything to do with it, yet in your guts you could not feel that you were wrong?
Have you ever brought solid issues up to your partner, because you just need to know, and all they do is get angry and accuse you of not trusting them?
In all these scenarios, the partner being confronted is either guilty, or not.
They could be guilty but with an honest excuse. They could be very good at playing the reverse the attack game, making you feel like you are the wrong doer in the end. Or they just plain pretend that they have no clue what you are talking about and ignore it altogether, again making you out to be the problem if you persist to question.
When you love someone, it does not mean that you should turn a blind eye and agree with their every thought or decision. You, as your own person have choices. If you feel threatened or betrayed, you have the right to clear up those feelings.
Just because you question your partner about an issue does so not mean that you lack TRUST or LOVE. Matters of the heart are very tricky to deal with. One can become very defensive and take any question as a personal attack. That is why emotional wars in any relationship are so draining and confusing.
No one wants to mistrust their partner, but what is one to do when certain signs keep coming up time and time again? Love is only so blind. Some people go through life succeeding in their game of denial or turning the tables to suit themselves. Those types are the hardest people to deal with in a relationship. Eventually you are always the one that ends up feeling hurt and accused of not trusting.. Not only hurt by what you feel is wrong but also, you feel defeated in what you feel and believe is right. Because of your love for your partner and the desire to keep things happy, you stay quiet and try to "Let it go". Then you find yourself mistrusting even more because you are forced to decide about things in your own mind, for fear of being wrong again. This is where a communication break down occurs between two people in a relationship. Once that happens, both parties are on separate roads going separate places and sometime never ever meeting on the same road again.
If you are any of these personalities listed above and you care about your partner, then you must not let communication fall to the way side. Also you must not take it as a personal attack, but more of a person crying for help. It is them that is suffering from a BROKEN TRUST and they are in need of your patience and understanding. They are not enjoying their torture at all. In some ways they are trying to share the pain with you. I know that sounds a bit confusing , but to be human is to be a confusion.
Life can be so good when we have no BROKEN TRUST issues to deal with. Also we need to respect one another and not add to the confusion of a "Normal" relationship by deceiving or belittling our partner. Relationships are at thier best when both partners are at peace and respect one another!
Some hurts cannot be repaired, but at least they not need be endured alone!
Being Dumped, just plain sucks!
Today I received a question from a guy. Here is what he said:
"Posted by Anonymous
The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself.
So then why did she dump me?"
And my answer to him was this... "Posted by Dorothy
Hey there, sorry to hear about your being dumped. Not knowing either of you, it is really hard to answer that question. There are many reasons for people walking away from a relationship. It could have plain worn out. Also they could have found someone else. Either way, it sucks, and you have to deal with the pain, and learn to get on with your life. It is a challenge, but it does make you aware, of what being human is all about. There is a saying; "If it doesn`t kill you. it will only make you stronger." Also I am a firm believer in: " Things do happen for a reason." Hang in there, things will get better, if you let them. Take Care and thank you for sharing that with me."
"Being Dumped" really is one of the worst experiences, short of death that we, as humans are faced with in our lives. They say that, death of a loved one is easier to learn to live with, than a break-up , "Being Dumped" or rejection.
All of the above, tell us that we are unacceptable to someone. We immediatley turn it into ourselves and that's when the self-blame seed is sown. Through self-blame we begin to feel shame. Shame is so painful, that no one talks about it or even wants to think about it. Shame is the least identified emotion we as humans deal with, because we are ashamed of our shame. Shame, is yet another negative emotion, that captures and imprisons us in a pit of hell. It pulls us into a life of silence and inactivity, lying and hiding our true fears. When we are rejected in any situation, it is a true hit to our self-esteem. If we are weak in that area, then our fall is going to be very hard. If we are strong in that area, we will quickly become weak. I wrote this in a recent blog:
"When we first fall in love; What is that saying, "Love is Blind"? Ha! Now that's funny, because it really is blind. We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives. Why is that? Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone? Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier, way of life."
So there it is, we as humans, live to love and want to be loved. We are blinded by the romance of the word ~ LOVE~. We are made happy by the word~LOVE~, but we are also hurt by the word ~LOVE~. So why do we continually set ourselves up? We are gambling, and we do not even know it. Or, is life simply just that, a gamble? The bottom line is, no one wants to get "DUMPED", because it is not in our nature to know how to accept it. How many of you have been, "DUMPED" and just knew that your life had ended? You just knew that you will never see anything the same again. Well, you were partly correct there. It is like any other change in our lives. Things will be different than we are use to. Your life has definitely not ended. Yes, your partnership has ended with a person, and maybe it was not expected, but nor are hurricanes or wars. We deal with it all, we have to. We chose to survive. Think of it as starting a new life. Newness is positive and healthy. Look at things differently, and embrace all that newness. Do not fear it. "BEING DUMPED", is just another chapter in your book of life. If you had no chapters, think how dull your book would be. Now, you can open your self to another chapter, and believe me, there are many. If you spend the rest of your life wondering all the "WHY`S", just think, you have wasted even more of your precious time on something that has chosen another road. As for the fact that a person is, full of themselves, that really has nothing to do with the "Why's" of "Being Dumped". Even the most confident people close doors on relationships. They in fact, have more courage to do so than a person of less confidence, or being less full of themselves, so to speak. Who Knows? All we know is that the decision has been made and you as a person, with intelligence, must turn the page. Getting stuck in that feeling just makes therapists rich. (wink) Life offers many, many humps and bumps. We trip and fall, over and over again. The trick is to get real good at picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt. This is life. I told my daughter, when she was struck by her first cupids arrow, "If you are going to get emotionally involved, be prepared to get emotionally uninvolved." It's life! One very important thing we must remember; when we are at the bottom and we feel we are worthless and will never ever TRUST again, it's is a nothing more than a human emotion. We know it as doubt. We can over come doubt very easily. Look in the mirror, and tell yourself, that you are UNIQUE, and you are going to make happiness your goal. You must risk all the falls to reach that goal. Letting yourself believe that you are deserving of another relationship is truly a risk, again another gamble. But what is life without a little risk? We have the power to overcome our negative self. We just need to DO IT!
"Self doubt is not an option!
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might gain by fearing attempt."
Shakespear
"Posted by Anonymous
The last woman I was involved with was quite full of herself.
So then why did she dump me?"
And my answer to him was this... "Posted by Dorothy
Hey there, sorry to hear about your being dumped. Not knowing either of you, it is really hard to answer that question. There are many reasons for people walking away from a relationship. It could have plain worn out. Also they could have found someone else. Either way, it sucks, and you have to deal with the pain, and learn to get on with your life. It is a challenge, but it does make you aware, of what being human is all about. There is a saying; "If it doesn`t kill you. it will only make you stronger." Also I am a firm believer in: " Things do happen for a reason." Hang in there, things will get better, if you let them. Take Care and thank you for sharing that with me."
"Being Dumped" really is one of the worst experiences, short of death that we, as humans are faced with in our lives. They say that, death of a loved one is easier to learn to live with, than a break-up , "Being Dumped" or rejection.
All of the above, tell us that we are unacceptable to someone. We immediatley turn it into ourselves and that's when the self-blame seed is sown. Through self-blame we begin to feel shame. Shame is so painful, that no one talks about it or even wants to think about it. Shame is the least identified emotion we as humans deal with, because we are ashamed of our shame. Shame, is yet another negative emotion, that captures and imprisons us in a pit of hell. It pulls us into a life of silence and inactivity, lying and hiding our true fears. When we are rejected in any situation, it is a true hit to our self-esteem. If we are weak in that area, then our fall is going to be very hard. If we are strong in that area, we will quickly become weak. I wrote this in a recent blog:
"When we first fall in love; What is that saying, "Love is Blind"? Ha! Now that's funny, because it really is blind. We trust so instantly and genuinely that we potentially set ourselves up for the biggest fall in our lives. Why is that? Is it because we are so driven by nature to want to trust someone? Or is trusting someone just a happier, easier, way of life."
So there it is, we as humans, live to love and want to be loved. We are blinded by the romance of the word ~ LOVE~. We are made happy by the word~LOVE~, but we are also hurt by the word ~LOVE~. So why do we continually set ourselves up? We are gambling, and we do not even know it. Or, is life simply just that, a gamble? The bottom line is, no one wants to get "DUMPED", because it is not in our nature to know how to accept it. How many of you have been, "DUMPED" and just knew that your life had ended? You just knew that you will never see anything the same again. Well, you were partly correct there. It is like any other change in our lives. Things will be different than we are use to. Your life has definitely not ended. Yes, your partnership has ended with a person, and maybe it was not expected, but nor are hurricanes or wars. We deal with it all, we have to. We chose to survive. Think of it as starting a new life. Newness is positive and healthy. Look at things differently, and embrace all that newness. Do not fear it. "BEING DUMPED", is just another chapter in your book of life. If you had no chapters, think how dull your book would be. Now, you can open your self to another chapter, and believe me, there are many. If you spend the rest of your life wondering all the "WHY`S", just think, you have wasted even more of your precious time on something that has chosen another road. As for the fact that a person is, full of themselves, that really has nothing to do with the "Why's" of "Being Dumped". Even the most confident people close doors on relationships. They in fact, have more courage to do so than a person of less confidence, or being less full of themselves, so to speak. Who Knows? All we know is that the decision has been made and you as a person, with intelligence, must turn the page. Getting stuck in that feeling just makes therapists rich. (wink) Life offers many, many humps and bumps. We trip and fall, over and over again. The trick is to get real good at picking yourself up and dusting off the old dirt. This is life. I told my daughter, when she was struck by her first cupids arrow, "If you are going to get emotionally involved, be prepared to get emotionally uninvolved." It's life! One very important thing we must remember; when we are at the bottom and we feel we are worthless and will never ever TRUST again, it's is a nothing more than a human emotion. We know it as doubt. We can over come doubt very easily. Look in the mirror, and tell yourself, that you are UNIQUE, and you are going to make happiness your goal. You must risk all the falls to reach that goal. Letting yourself believe that you are deserving of another relationship is truly a risk, again another gamble. But what is life without a little risk? We have the power to overcome our negative self. We just need to DO IT!
"Self doubt is not an option!
Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we often might gain by fearing attempt."
Shakespear
Be His Gift of Self-esteem for Christmas
On Christmas Day give your loved one a special gift. This gift should be real and true. It will let him know how dear he is to you and how much you look forward to spending the rest of your life with him.
This special gift being, your most highest Self-esteem. One that he will never, ever forget. Through your gift of a higher self-esteem, he will know just how much he means to you. After all, you can not just go to the department store and buy this gift.
It is a gift that has taken time and effort.
It is a gift that not very many people would even consider giving.
It is a true gift of love.
Remember, no one likes to open an empty box, so make sure it is full of self-worth and self-esteem.
You are probably wondering, how am I suppose to do that? I know that sure we can want it and we can fake it, but can we really feel it and offer our self-esteem as a real, and true gift, one that will last forever.
Yes you can!
You just do it.
You have all heard of the,"Twelve days of Christmas"?
Well I have put together for you, 12 very positive habits in order to each your highest self-esteem. Not to mention a very good feeling of self-worth. Think of it as the Twelve Days to a Higher Self-esteem!
We have heard all the love songs and read all the very sweet, romantic Christmas cards that are bought by the millions. In my mind almost all of those sweet lyrics are asking for one thing and one thing only. He wants YOU for Christmas. He wants to see you smile and radiate with love for him. So ladies lets just do it. Lets give him a Christmas that he will always remember.
One that will make him smile every day for the rest of his life. After-all, he is very much worth it. Love is worth all, if not more of the discipline and energy it takes in building that higher, more positive self-esteem. This is my gift to you! I hope that your loved one will be a very happy guy this Christmas, when he sees your gift of self-esteem that you have given him.
Twelve Days to a Higher Self-esteem:
Day 1-Write about you! Get a journal and write about you in it every night before you go to bed. Write at least 10 things that you did that makes you smile that day, no matter how small.
Day2- Be your own you! Live your life like you want to live it. Make your own decisions. Do not base your decisions on other's wants and desires.
Day 3- Identify your priorities! Take care of your needs first. Find what gives you lasting pleasure, not just instant quick fixes. To respect your needs is a great way to lift your self-worth and build a higher self-esteem.
Day 4- Share more of you with others! In sharing a part of you, and making others feel good, you in turn feel very valuable. A feeling of value will send your self-esteem soaring.
Day 5-Spend time with positive people! Positive people send positive vibes.
Day 6-Stay away from the "I want" syndrome! Meaning, I want to look like her, I want to be skinny, I want to be perfect, Or I want what I will never have. These are all negative thoughts that only work against your positive self-esteem.
Day 7- Love Who You Are! Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are UNIQUE at least10 times through out this day. Tell yourself that you are SPECIAL. That you are LOVED and want to love back. (It's been a week now and it's been tough, but dont give up! Your more than half way now!)
Day 8- Stop the comparison game! When you compare yourself, you are questioning your own self-worth. A very BAD HABIT. STOP it on this day!
Day 9- Stop trying to be perfect! To be a perfectionist will only drain energy that you could benefit you in just being you! We all know that once you can just be you, life seems so much more fun!
Day 10- Stop putting yourself down! Putting yourself down every chance you get is a definite no-no. You cannot win the positive/negative battle if you continue to think negative. (almost there now!)
Day11- HUG alot! Hug as many people as you can on this day. Just make sure they are not strangers. That could be a bit of a problem. Hugz are just so good! People can not hug enough or get hugged enough. So hug alot!
Day12- (Last Day!) Just do It! You cannot win the battle if you don't do anything to win it. When you activley work toward achieving your positive thoughts, you not only defeat the negative but you also feel good inside about yourself and others. That is exactly what makes your self-esteem soar!
Well there you have it, my gift to you. How to get your self-esteem to a high enough feeling that it can be a gift from you to him. One that he will surely cherish.
Christmas time is a very special time of the year. We are all in a very positive, happy mood. The Christmas spirit washes over us like a warm wind. Embrace it, enjoy it, and remember to share your good feelings with everyone. Others are also trying to build their self-esteem and could definitely benefit from your positive smiles and hugz.
I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and I truly hope that your self-esteem will be a gift to remember.
Dorothy Lafrinere
****************
"Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."
Oren Arnold
Dorothy Lafrinere is the owner and operator of http://www.womensselfesteem.com. She has been working to help build women's self esteem for many years and is considered an expert in her field. Dorothy's website is filled with information, forums, articles, a chat room for women only and much more. The theme of her website is based on Women helping women build self esteem and confidence.
This special gift being, your most highest Self-esteem. One that he will never, ever forget. Through your gift of a higher self-esteem, he will know just how much he means to you. After all, you can not just go to the department store and buy this gift.
It is a gift that has taken time and effort.
It is a gift that not very many people would even consider giving.
It is a true gift of love.
Remember, no one likes to open an empty box, so make sure it is full of self-worth and self-esteem.
You are probably wondering, how am I suppose to do that? I know that sure we can want it and we can fake it, but can we really feel it and offer our self-esteem as a real, and true gift, one that will last forever.
Yes you can!
You just do it.
You have all heard of the,"Twelve days of Christmas"?
Well I have put together for you, 12 very positive habits in order to each your highest self-esteem. Not to mention a very good feeling of self-worth. Think of it as the Twelve Days to a Higher Self-esteem!
We have heard all the love songs and read all the very sweet, romantic Christmas cards that are bought by the millions. In my mind almost all of those sweet lyrics are asking for one thing and one thing only. He wants YOU for Christmas. He wants to see you smile and radiate with love for him. So ladies lets just do it. Lets give him a Christmas that he will always remember.
One that will make him smile every day for the rest of his life. After-all, he is very much worth it. Love is worth all, if not more of the discipline and energy it takes in building that higher, more positive self-esteem. This is my gift to you! I hope that your loved one will be a very happy guy this Christmas, when he sees your gift of self-esteem that you have given him.
Twelve Days to a Higher Self-esteem:
Day 1-Write about you! Get a journal and write about you in it every night before you go to bed. Write at least 10 things that you did that makes you smile that day, no matter how small.
Day2- Be your own you! Live your life like you want to live it. Make your own decisions. Do not base your decisions on other's wants and desires.
Day 3- Identify your priorities! Take care of your needs first. Find what gives you lasting pleasure, not just instant quick fixes. To respect your needs is a great way to lift your self-worth and build a higher self-esteem.
Day 4- Share more of you with others! In sharing a part of you, and making others feel good, you in turn feel very valuable. A feeling of value will send your self-esteem soaring.
Day 5-Spend time with positive people! Positive people send positive vibes.
Day 6-Stay away from the "I want" syndrome! Meaning, I want to look like her, I want to be skinny, I want to be perfect, Or I want what I will never have. These are all negative thoughts that only work against your positive self-esteem.
Day 7- Love Who You Are! Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are UNIQUE at least10 times through out this day. Tell yourself that you are SPECIAL. That you are LOVED and want to love back. (It's been a week now and it's been tough, but dont give up! Your more than half way now!)
Day 8- Stop the comparison game! When you compare yourself, you are questioning your own self-worth. A very BAD HABIT. STOP it on this day!
Day 9- Stop trying to be perfect! To be a perfectionist will only drain energy that you could benefit you in just being you! We all know that once you can just be you, life seems so much more fun!
Day 10- Stop putting yourself down! Putting yourself down every chance you get is a definite no-no. You cannot win the positive/negative battle if you continue to think negative. (almost there now!)
Day11- HUG alot! Hug as many people as you can on this day. Just make sure they are not strangers. That could be a bit of a problem. Hugz are just so good! People can not hug enough or get hugged enough. So hug alot!
Day12- (Last Day!) Just do It! You cannot win the battle if you don't do anything to win it. When you activley work toward achieving your positive thoughts, you not only defeat the negative but you also feel good inside about yourself and others. That is exactly what makes your self-esteem soar!
Well there you have it, my gift to you. How to get your self-esteem to a high enough feeling that it can be a gift from you to him. One that he will surely cherish.
Christmas time is a very special time of the year. We are all in a very positive, happy mood. The Christmas spirit washes over us like a warm wind. Embrace it, enjoy it, and remember to share your good feelings with everyone. Others are also trying to build their self-esteem and could definitely benefit from your positive smiles and hugz.
I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and I truly hope that your self-esteem will be a gift to remember.
Dorothy Lafrinere
****************
"Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."
Oren Arnold
Dorothy Lafrinere is the owner and operator of http://www.womensselfesteem.com. She has been working to help build women's self esteem for many years and is considered an expert in her field. Dorothy's website is filled with information, forums, articles, a chat room for women only and much more. The theme of her website is based on Women helping women build self esteem and confidence.
Be Glad That There’s Quarrel in Your Relationship
Is your love relationship smooth? Have the both of you actually quarreled before? If your answer is yes, then you should be happy and be glad that it happened. But if your answer is however a no, then you should be aware of the danger that you are facing. Hmm… did I make things sound a bit too scary? Ha, it is not exactly that serious; don’t be scared off by me. Well, I should believe that the both of you are just, still in the sweet honeymoon period of your relationship.
In life, we encountered a lot of up and downs. But it is nevertheless, through all these problems and obstacles that we learn to stand up on our feet times and times again despite the falls we had, that made us what we are today. If life were to be so smooth for us, we wouldn’t have grown and learn to truly appreciate it. The same goes for love; if a relationship is ever so sweet and smooth, we wouldn’t have learn to really appreciate and cherish the love that is between ourselves and our love. It is through the overcoming of all those quarrels and problems, surviving them through together that we truly know that we deeply cherish the love that is between both, strengthening the relationship more than ever.
Be glad that there is quarrel between both. It actually means that the both have developed another step further in your relationship. It is only when one is closer to you that a quarrel will then actually happen. I don’t suppose you will pick up a quarrel with your partner whom you just started dating? You be just trying all out to please him or her instead, wouldn’t you?
But do however treat each and every quarrel seriously, especially when the both of you have just started. This is the time for you and your partner to further understand each other more deeply, the time for you to reflect on yourself and honestly think about the relationship. This is the time for the relationship to be tested. A test of your love for one another; whether this relationship is strong enough to withstand any thunderstorm there may be. Well, a survival never fails to further strengthen the relationship, truly cherishing each other ever more.
Avoid unnecessary reasoning at the point of a quarrel. Most of the times it will only make things worse, wait till both have cooled down. At the end of the day, always make an effort to find out what actually went wrong. Is it your fault? Talk to each other nicely, share your unhappiness; let your partner know how you felt. A softer tone is always more calming and pleasing to the ears. Your partner will usually be willing to listen and to share his or her feelings with you too. Sometimes it is out of too much care for one another that unwillingly trigger off a quarrel between both?
Remember, nobody wanted any quarrel. If you are at fault, please don’t be a stubborn donkey, you jolly well apologize and seek for your partner’s forgiveness. A word of sorry isn’t really that hard to say out? There is nothing ashamed to feel of, especially when with your love? Admit your fault, a sincere apology would always be pleasing to the ears; most of the time, harmony it will bring. Nonetheless, if your partner were to apologize to you, you graciously accept it. Why start another quarrel when you could end it? Well, there shouldn’t be any overnight grudges between couples.
Give each other a good hug. “I love you dear, I am really so sorry to have hurt you, please forgive me…” Now isn’t that such a sweet ending? It is usually through so that you understand each other better, cherishing each other even dearly. Remember, love is a two-way communication. It takes two happy persons, a happy you and your love to complete the equation.
In life, we encountered a lot of up and downs. But it is nevertheless, through all these problems and obstacles that we learn to stand up on our feet times and times again despite the falls we had, that made us what we are today. If life were to be so smooth for us, we wouldn’t have grown and learn to truly appreciate it. The same goes for love; if a relationship is ever so sweet and smooth, we wouldn’t have learn to really appreciate and cherish the love that is between ourselves and our love. It is through the overcoming of all those quarrels and problems, surviving them through together that we truly know that we deeply cherish the love that is between both, strengthening the relationship more than ever.
Be glad that there is quarrel between both. It actually means that the both have developed another step further in your relationship. It is only when one is closer to you that a quarrel will then actually happen. I don’t suppose you will pick up a quarrel with your partner whom you just started dating? You be just trying all out to please him or her instead, wouldn’t you?
But do however treat each and every quarrel seriously, especially when the both of you have just started. This is the time for you and your partner to further understand each other more deeply, the time for you to reflect on yourself and honestly think about the relationship. This is the time for the relationship to be tested. A test of your love for one another; whether this relationship is strong enough to withstand any thunderstorm there may be. Well, a survival never fails to further strengthen the relationship, truly cherishing each other ever more.
Avoid unnecessary reasoning at the point of a quarrel. Most of the times it will only make things worse, wait till both have cooled down. At the end of the day, always make an effort to find out what actually went wrong. Is it your fault? Talk to each other nicely, share your unhappiness; let your partner know how you felt. A softer tone is always more calming and pleasing to the ears. Your partner will usually be willing to listen and to share his or her feelings with you too. Sometimes it is out of too much care for one another that unwillingly trigger off a quarrel between both?
Remember, nobody wanted any quarrel. If you are at fault, please don’t be a stubborn donkey, you jolly well apologize and seek for your partner’s forgiveness. A word of sorry isn’t really that hard to say out? There is nothing ashamed to feel of, especially when with your love? Admit your fault, a sincere apology would always be pleasing to the ears; most of the time, harmony it will bring. Nonetheless, if your partner were to apologize to you, you graciously accept it. Why start another quarrel when you could end it? Well, there shouldn’t be any overnight grudges between couples.
Give each other a good hug. “I love you dear, I am really so sorry to have hurt you, please forgive me…” Now isn’t that such a sweet ending? It is usually through so that you understand each other better, cherishing each other even dearly. Remember, love is a two-way communication. It takes two happy persons, a happy you and your love to complete the equation.
Attention Men: What Never To Say To A Woman
Guys, we ladies know that you can be pretty clueless. Have you ever said something "innocent" that got your woman really mad? There are just some things a woman does not want to hear. If you want to keep peace in your relationship, take my advice and don't ever say this to your girlfriend/wife:
Mistake #1: "Your best friend is hot." She'll end up feeling threatened that you're attracted to someone so close to her. It cause tension anytime the three of you get together. If you think her friend, sister, cousin, etc. is a knock-out - just keep it to yourself.
Mistake #2: "Maybe You should go on a diet." Women are insecure enough about their bodies as it is. Seeing models and actresses on TV and in magazines makes many women feel like they're not good enough. You should never let her know that you notice her flaws, because she's probably already obsessing over them.
Mistake #3: "I don't ever want to get married." Most women are interested in long-term relationships. Plus, they love weddings. Telling her that you NEVER want to get married will definitely cause conflict in your relationship. Saying this to a woman may end your reltionship or lead to a psycho possessive girlfriend.
Mistake #4: "My ex used to do it different." Your new honey does NOT want to be compared to your ex. Do not remind her that you ever had sexual & romantic feelings for someone else. You might end up making her jealous. The exception is when you are making a comparison extremely favorable to your new girlfriend. However, you have to be careful - bringing up past lovers too often for no reason will make her think that your ex is still on your mind.
Mistake #5: "Maybe I should go without you." If you're going somewhere, and your significant other wants to come, just let her! You know that she might not enjoy herself, but denying her will make her suspicious. Besides, isn't it fun spending quality time together?
Mistake #6: "That fart you made was killer!" If you're both really close and comfortable with each other, this might be okay. However, when she lets one slip by accident and starts blushing, DO NOT laugh at her. It's an extremely embarassing situation and she doesn't need you to notice that she has "odors."
Mistake #7: "Why do you always want to talk?" I'll tell you the answer now so that you never ask her this. The reason females always want to talk, is because that's what they're good at doing. They've been doing it for years and that's what they're used to. Your silence can mean a lot of different things to a woman, some bad - so open up and let her know what's really on your mind. If you don't want to talk, say that you don't want to talk right now, but would be happy to in 1/2 hour. Anything else will make you look like an insensitive jerk.
Keep your woman happy and don't utter any of these offensive remarks. Remember that saying the wrong thing could mean that you end up sleeping on the couch tonight!
Mistake #1: "Your best friend is hot." She'll end up feeling threatened that you're attracted to someone so close to her. It cause tension anytime the three of you get together. If you think her friend, sister, cousin, etc. is a knock-out - just keep it to yourself.
Mistake #2: "Maybe You should go on a diet." Women are insecure enough about their bodies as it is. Seeing models and actresses on TV and in magazines makes many women feel like they're not good enough. You should never let her know that you notice her flaws, because she's probably already obsessing over them.
Mistake #3: "I don't ever want to get married." Most women are interested in long-term relationships. Plus, they love weddings. Telling her that you NEVER want to get married will definitely cause conflict in your relationship. Saying this to a woman may end your reltionship or lead to a psycho possessive girlfriend.
Mistake #4: "My ex used to do it different." Your new honey does NOT want to be compared to your ex. Do not remind her that you ever had sexual & romantic feelings for someone else. You might end up making her jealous. The exception is when you are making a comparison extremely favorable to your new girlfriend. However, you have to be careful - bringing up past lovers too often for no reason will make her think that your ex is still on your mind.
Mistake #5: "Maybe I should go without you." If you're going somewhere, and your significant other wants to come, just let her! You know that she might not enjoy herself, but denying her will make her suspicious. Besides, isn't it fun spending quality time together?
Mistake #6: "That fart you made was killer!" If you're both really close and comfortable with each other, this might be okay. However, when she lets one slip by accident and starts blushing, DO NOT laugh at her. It's an extremely embarassing situation and she doesn't need you to notice that she has "odors."
Mistake #7: "Why do you always want to talk?" I'll tell you the answer now so that you never ask her this. The reason females always want to talk, is because that's what they're good at doing. They've been doing it for years and that's what they're used to. Your silence can mean a lot of different things to a woman, some bad - so open up and let her know what's really on your mind. If you don't want to talk, say that you don't want to talk right now, but would be happy to in 1/2 hour. Anything else will make you look like an insensitive jerk.
Keep your woman happy and don't utter any of these offensive remarks. Remember that saying the wrong thing could mean that you end up sleeping on the couch tonight!
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